Sunday, 17 January 2016

Powder Days

I was proud of myself today. Living in the Vail Valley, skiing is a big deal and powder days even bigger.  Saturday we awoke to a surprise that Vail ski resort received nine inches of snow.  So, the decision was to change the original plan to skin (climb up the mountain with skis on and skins that stick to the bottom of the skis that allow you to glide forward but provide friction so you don't slide back) up the other local ski resort and instead hope for a day of powder skiing.  Whew, was it wonderful. Skiing through knee high snow brings out my inner child.  Each turn, like sinking into white clouds of cotton puffs, then being pushed up and out into the next turn.  Floating...  And, also a lot of work on my thighs.  By the end of our four hours, my thighs felt like wiggly jello, ready to give out at any moment.  A tired feeling like that of a child having had so much fun fully playing and then boom, falling over.

Today, I decided to to an early morning skin, get a few runs on some mellower terrain, and then head home to rest and relax.  As I was getting ready, my partner came downstairs to tell me, "Vail got another foot of snow!"  He was excited and thinking his day of driving two and a half hours with some of his students to volunteer in Denver would probably be cancelled due to the road conditions.  Without hesitation, I told him I was good with my plan and I didn't think my legs would handle much more powder.  In the past, I would have ignored that inner voice, deciding better to "go hard" and "push myself" for that awesome powder.  Greg ended up going to Vail and having a ball.  I did my skin and ski at Beaver Creek, done by 10:00am, and had a relaxing day.

The more I allow myself to pause...listen, the more I'm able to hear a soft inner voice, guiding me.  It has my best interest in mind, moves me towards love, compassion, my best self.  My struggle now seems to be with finding balance with "the doer" and this inner self.  Not ready to give up "the doer" and "the doer," when used for its talent, helps me move towards some amazing things.  It's helped me have so many awesome life experiences.  I am grateful for it.  It's when I let it take over, frantically planning, worrying, controlling.  Too much external, not enough going inward.  That's my journey right now, the path of going inward while living in this spectacular reality, filled with so much.  Trying to be with it more as a dance rather than something that 'has to be done.' Letting go of as much expectation as possible to open up to learning and growing.  Connecting with that inner child!

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