Aparigraha or non-attachment applied to giving allows us to come back to focus on the intentions of giving, rather than the outcomes. If you've been upset because you gave to someone and they didn't give back or when you gave there wasn't appreciation...you are attached to the outcome of your giving, which means there is an expectation of "if I give, this person will feel/act by doing _____." When they don't, our reaction is anger and resentment.
Instead, come back to why are you giving in the first place? If it's because of a 'supposed to' or 'it's expected' or 'it's just what is done,' again, this is rooted more in an outcome and not really based out of a loving place. Giving, when done from a place of love and joy, is more satisfying and meaningful than when done out of obligation. The other piece with coming back to the intention of your giving that is the action of giving can then being done without attachment to the outcome. Have you ever given to someone who had no idea it was even you? It can be an amazing feeling because it's more about the intention of bringing joy to another rather than wanting the gratitude of the person in return. Which is ultimately about ourselves, rather then the person we just gave to.
The other side of the coin is receiving. Ooooooo, can this be a challenge! Again, so many times when someone gives to us, there can be a feeling obligation or guilt...maybe a of feeling now I have to give to that person. Again,this is an attachment to a belief that it's not okay to just receive. This can come from a cultural belief of being independent. When someone gives to us, there is connection, which we all need. But, our belief system can get it mixed up with feeling dependent on that person. The other thing about struggling to fully receive, is that this energy can rob the joy for the other person who is giving and it keeps us from showing full gratitude to the other person, just by enjoying what was given. So many times we are all searching for ways to help others, especially in a world we feel so separate from each other at times. The act of receiving, as well as giving, helps to foster connection. Being able to receive gracefully is just as important as giving.
In yoga, the practices of restorative yoga and yoga nidra are wonderful exercises in just taking time receive. Giving yourself a gift of pampering, time to go inward, time to rest are also wonderful ways to practice giving and receiving to ourselves.
Breathing practices are another a way to practice giving and receiving. When we inhale we receive, when we exhale we give. The breath techniques of equal inhale and exhale with abdominal breathing or Coherent Breathing are examples of this.
My encouragement to all this holiday season is to pause, come back to your intentions of giving and be open to receiving with no energetic strings attached to the outcomes. Just let your abundant joy and love shine through!
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