As I was going for a peaceful morning walk around my neighborhood this morning, I suddenly had emotions well up, tears coming forth. This happens more and more often as I slow down and just notice the world around me. In this moment, I was struck by the magnificence of life, the beauty and feeling overwhelming gratitude to live where I do. I was gone for about a week and a half on vacation and was amazed at the changes in the environment around me, how much the trees had filled out, the plants had exploded into life and all the bugs, birds and little creatures busying about.
Life is just truly amazing. I've been taking a course with Tom Myers this past year and I love his fascination with the miracle of life for us humans. My understanding of how profound this process of the beginning of life has grown from my archaic and basic knowledge of the fastest sperm meets the egg and 'boom' life begins to how much more involved it is. In fact, this previous, simple explanation of conception isn't correct. The egg itself is encompassed in its own container that all the millions of sperm swim to and start to ram into as hard as they can to make a little dent. Over and over this is done until, finally, one little sperm gets that last hit that penetrates the container and conception happens. It's not this very American view that "the fastest and best wins" but rather a team effort occurs to make it all happen. It's not done alone!
Then there's the flip side of life, death. Such a word that most people spend their whole life trying to avoid and beat. When it is as equally amazing as life. I decided to try my hand this year at starting some flowers and herbs by seed. I transplanted them into pots before I left on vacation and when I came back some were flourishing and others had died. This may have been due to the health of the plant before I transplanted it, possibly too many seedlings in one spot, sunlight, water, soil. Some of these seedlings had very short lives and others will have longer life, though all will eventually die. I've noticed how easily it is to fall into wanting 100% guarantee. Guarantee that if I exercise and eat right, that there won't be sickness. Guarantee if I wear the right clothes, have the right car and house that I will be happy. Guarantee if I take all these courses, read all these books and listen to these podcasts I will be good enough at my job. As these seedlings show, there is no guarantee. Just because they made it out of their seed pod and were thriving, doesn't guarantee life will continue.
When I think of self-doubt that comes up with transitions, trying new things and following passions in regards to life and death, it starts to make me laugh. There's no real reason for self-doubt. Since there's no guarantee, why not jump in and embrace the ups and downs because who knows how long we have to experience these explorations of life. I don't think one blade of grass is looking at another blade saying, "Wow, look how green, symmetrical and straight that one is. Look at me, I have wish I was like that," and then shrink back down, away from the sun. Hell no! Grass it doing what it does, growing and growing to fulfill its possible purpose of nourishment for something else, creating more soil, or even to supporting children playing. Then seasons change and it is gone.
My practice is coming back to the pure joy and amazement of living and then letting go. One door needs to close for another to open. When I forget, as I often do, I just need to look outside or go for a walk to be reminded.
Life is just truly amazing. I've been taking a course with Tom Myers this past year and I love his fascination with the miracle of life for us humans. My understanding of how profound this process of the beginning of life has grown from my archaic and basic knowledge of the fastest sperm meets the egg and 'boom' life begins to how much more involved it is. In fact, this previous, simple explanation of conception isn't correct. The egg itself is encompassed in its own container that all the millions of sperm swim to and start to ram into as hard as they can to make a little dent. Over and over this is done until, finally, one little sperm gets that last hit that penetrates the container and conception happens. It's not this very American view that "the fastest and best wins" but rather a team effort occurs to make it all happen. It's not done alone!
Then there's the flip side of life, death. Such a word that most people spend their whole life trying to avoid and beat. When it is as equally amazing as life. I decided to try my hand this year at starting some flowers and herbs by seed. I transplanted them into pots before I left on vacation and when I came back some were flourishing and others had died. This may have been due to the health of the plant before I transplanted it, possibly too many seedlings in one spot, sunlight, water, soil. Some of these seedlings had very short lives and others will have longer life, though all will eventually die. I've noticed how easily it is to fall into wanting 100% guarantee. Guarantee that if I exercise and eat right, that there won't be sickness. Guarantee if I wear the right clothes, have the right car and house that I will be happy. Guarantee if I take all these courses, read all these books and listen to these podcasts I will be good enough at my job. As these seedlings show, there is no guarantee. Just because they made it out of their seed pod and were thriving, doesn't guarantee life will continue.
When I think of self-doubt that comes up with transitions, trying new things and following passions in regards to life and death, it starts to make me laugh. There's no real reason for self-doubt. Since there's no guarantee, why not jump in and embrace the ups and downs because who knows how long we have to experience these explorations of life. I don't think one blade of grass is looking at another blade saying, "Wow, look how green, symmetrical and straight that one is. Look at me, I have wish I was like that," and then shrink back down, away from the sun. Hell no! Grass it doing what it does, growing and growing to fulfill its possible purpose of nourishment for something else, creating more soil, or even to supporting children playing. Then seasons change and it is gone.
My practice is coming back to the pure joy and amazement of living and then letting go. One door needs to close for another to open. When I forget, as I often do, I just need to look outside or go for a walk to be reminded.
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