It's November again and, in the US, this month represents giving thanks and gratitude with the holiday of Thanksgiving Day at the end of the month.
Gratitude, to me, represents a practice that goes beyond a day or a month in the year. In our modern world, we are filled with constant "reminders" of what we don't have and what we need to feel complete, which is usually something in the material world: the latest gadget, specific brands, bigger house, more luxurious car...the list goes on and on. The fascinating thing is when we get these things, the joy and contentment last momentarily and then we are on to the next thing we "need," never feeling complete. This is the focus on lack.
This focus also happens on an emotional and spiritual level too. I live in a mountain community that likes to call itself "Happy Valley." Underneath this facade, things are not so "happy." One example are the suicide rates, which are much higher per capita than the big city down the road. Why is this? One thought is that people come here with certain expectations of living the mountain life: where it's beautiful, there's access to so many fun activities, no worries, and if it's a great place to visit, it's gotta be amazing to live here. (Hence the name "Happy Valley"). But, all who come bring their mental and emotional baggage with them as well as the mentality of "work hard, play and party hard," it's a recipe for lack disaster. All around, the message is "this is the best place to live," "there are no worries here because it's all so good," and "nothing bad happens here." So, if a person isn't doing well they start hiding it or start trying to do external things to fill the lack that can be self-destructive or numb out. Lack thoughts reek havoc. "There's something wrong with me because I'm not happy." "I'm not good enough." "I'll never get ____."The ultimate escape being suicide. National Geographic has a great article specifically on this topic.
The practice of gratitude is the focus on abundance. We all have abundance in our lives and regularly reminding ourselves of this can be uplifting, calming and centering. The world of positive psychology reports that those people who feel more content in life regularly practice gratitude.
So how to do this? First, picking a time of day to bring it into your daily routine. Just like we regularly brush teeth, eat, bathe...making gratitude a part of this. Second, a template. A great way to do a gratitude is using this template:
Gratitude, to me, represents a practice that goes beyond a day or a month in the year. In our modern world, we are filled with constant "reminders" of what we don't have and what we need to feel complete, which is usually something in the material world: the latest gadget, specific brands, bigger house, more luxurious car...the list goes on and on. The fascinating thing is when we get these things, the joy and contentment last momentarily and then we are on to the next thing we "need," never feeling complete. This is the focus on lack.
This focus also happens on an emotional and spiritual level too. I live in a mountain community that likes to call itself "Happy Valley." Underneath this facade, things are not so "happy." One example are the suicide rates, which are much higher per capita than the big city down the road. Why is this? One thought is that people come here with certain expectations of living the mountain life: where it's beautiful, there's access to so many fun activities, no worries, and if it's a great place to visit, it's gotta be amazing to live here. (Hence the name "Happy Valley"). But, all who come bring their mental and emotional baggage with them as well as the mentality of "work hard, play and party hard," it's a recipe for lack disaster. All around, the message is "this is the best place to live," "there are no worries here because it's all so good," and "nothing bad happens here." So, if a person isn't doing well they start hiding it or start trying to do external things to fill the lack that can be self-destructive or numb out. Lack thoughts reek havoc. "There's something wrong with me because I'm not happy." "I'm not good enough." "I'll never get ____."The ultimate escape being suicide. National Geographic has a great article specifically on this topic.
The practice of gratitude is the focus on abundance. We all have abundance in our lives and regularly reminding ourselves of this can be uplifting, calming and centering. The world of positive psychology reports that those people who feel more content in life regularly practice gratitude.
So how to do this? First, picking a time of day to bring it into your daily routine. Just like we regularly brush teeth, eat, bathe...making gratitude a part of this. Second, a template. A great way to do a gratitude is using this template:
- I am grateful for _______, because ________.
Third, start by writing them down or saying them out loud with a family member or friend. You can even do both by texting someone your gratitude(s) each day and vice versa. By doing this on a daily basis, when those thoughts and feelings that come from focusing on lack creep in, you can counteract them by reminding yourself what you are grateful for and what you do have in your life that makes it amazing already.
The big challenge is committing to doing this until it becomes a habit and more natural. It's a process and it takes time. Especially since many of us have been focusing on lack for decades. BUT, the rewards of focusing on abundance are worth the effort and I think you'll find that this simple practice has immediate results.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to talk about gratitude because it's created more contentment and enjoyment in my life. Practice gratitude!
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