I've mentioned in the past that a health area I've been dealing with consistently over the past year now is sudden hearing loss and tinnitus. It effects my right ear, actually started about almost five years ago, with major changes happening in September 2017 that have led to wearing a hearing aid. (Thank goodness I live in a time where this is available and I have had support in obtaining a hearing aid, which is quite expensive. I am grateful and remind myself of this often). The process has involved facing a lot of fear that includes how I make money...listening to people...and managing the challenge of the effort it takes daily to hear and process sounds. It can be exhausting.
This past October, with a head cold, all of the sudden I had hearing loss and tinnitus in my left ear. I knew that this started with the cold and most likely would clear up (whereas I do not know the reason for the right ear issues happening). The hearing and tinnitus fluctuated daily, which also made me feel positive about it eventually clearing. Fast forward to December and still I was having issues. I went to my audiologist and testing showed that, yes, there had been loss of hearing, though not loss of comprehension from the nerve. She too saw this as positive and hopefully not permanent. She recommended I go to the ENT for steroid treatment.
"Steroids." I could feel my whole body tighten. I've taken many courses of Prednizone over the past year with no help and just feeling awful from them: anxious and racing mind, restless, constipated, issues with sleep and when finishing them taking a good two weeks or longer to recover. I did some biofeedback that revealed my body's number one rejection to what was tested was steroids, so most likely when taking them my body was rejecting them. Every part of my being said, "no."
The struggle has been how to be true to myself and trying to work with doctors that don't have the answers or the time to help find alternatives that go against taking a pill, while also not wanting to burn bridges of avenues for support and resources. I decided I would go to the ENT and voice my concerns. I was first started on an OTC allergy nasal spray, which I was willing to try, and nothing changed with it. Then I was recommended to try Sudafed for a couple of days and if that didn't work, Prednizone, the steroid. I agonized over these options and finally decided since this was a different onset for the hearing and tinnitus and no nerve damage, I would try it.
On the second day of a nine day course, it changed. My left ear hearing improved and the tinnitus stopped. The next day the same and the next. In the mean time, my mind went on hyper drive. The positive was I knew it was the medication and continued to use all my tools and practices for calming the nervous system. I didn't experience the significant constipation as usual and I wasn't as stressed about having some nights I really didn't sleep. I just slowed down and took care of myself.
On the seventh day, with a reduced dose, during a stressful day at work (or my perception with my intensified nervous system), my left ear started to feel clogged again and the tinnitus returned. It continued. I write this on my last day of the Prednizone, after processing many feelings and thoughts around this experience.
I am glad I decided to take the Prednizone. I went into it knowing what I was getting into and what I needed to do to take care of myself. And it helped for a moment, though it was not lasting. I know that I'm not willing to keep taking this medication because of the side effects. I'm not willing to subject myself to those to manage my left ear. It has made me plant myself more firmly into continuing the process of lifestyle changes to increase my immunity and gut health, create a life that is conducive to calming the nervous system and increase overall enjoyment, and continue with my yoga sadhana (daily spiritual practice).
I feel in my body that the hearing loss and tinnitus is reflective of lifestyle choices over the year, environmental factors and biological factors. Some I have no control over, some I do. It will be a continued path of experimentation and learning.
The teaching part of the hearing loss for me has been about the process of an unlearning of our American cultural belief (and a human tenancy) that there is a quick fix, a magic pill and if we could find it we'd live happily ever after. This is not the case. When I fixate on trying to find a guarantee or the quick fix, I increase my stress level, blame myself, compare myself to others, get consumed on trying to find an outcome and miss enjoying life.
Creating lasting change in health and well-being is not a point or a finish line. It is living life. We are born into these human bodies that are guaranteed to change whether we like it or not. We can fight against it and be miserable, exacerbating negativity in mind in body, or we can accept it, take responsibility and steadily make changes to our lifestyle habits and beliefs. IT TAKES TIME, it's a continuous process and patience is essential.
Be kind to yourself in this process, find support systems that uplift you and trust yourself.
This past October, with a head cold, all of the sudden I had hearing loss and tinnitus in my left ear. I knew that this started with the cold and most likely would clear up (whereas I do not know the reason for the right ear issues happening). The hearing and tinnitus fluctuated daily, which also made me feel positive about it eventually clearing. Fast forward to December and still I was having issues. I went to my audiologist and testing showed that, yes, there had been loss of hearing, though not loss of comprehension from the nerve. She too saw this as positive and hopefully not permanent. She recommended I go to the ENT for steroid treatment.
"Steroids." I could feel my whole body tighten. I've taken many courses of Prednizone over the past year with no help and just feeling awful from them: anxious and racing mind, restless, constipated, issues with sleep and when finishing them taking a good two weeks or longer to recover. I did some biofeedback that revealed my body's number one rejection to what was tested was steroids, so most likely when taking them my body was rejecting them. Every part of my being said, "no."
The struggle has been how to be true to myself and trying to work with doctors that don't have the answers or the time to help find alternatives that go against taking a pill, while also not wanting to burn bridges of avenues for support and resources. I decided I would go to the ENT and voice my concerns. I was first started on an OTC allergy nasal spray, which I was willing to try, and nothing changed with it. Then I was recommended to try Sudafed for a couple of days and if that didn't work, Prednizone, the steroid. I agonized over these options and finally decided since this was a different onset for the hearing and tinnitus and no nerve damage, I would try it.
On the second day of a nine day course, it changed. My left ear hearing improved and the tinnitus stopped. The next day the same and the next. In the mean time, my mind went on hyper drive. The positive was I knew it was the medication and continued to use all my tools and practices for calming the nervous system. I didn't experience the significant constipation as usual and I wasn't as stressed about having some nights I really didn't sleep. I just slowed down and took care of myself.
On the seventh day, with a reduced dose, during a stressful day at work (or my perception with my intensified nervous system), my left ear started to feel clogged again and the tinnitus returned. It continued. I write this on my last day of the Prednizone, after processing many feelings and thoughts around this experience.
I am glad I decided to take the Prednizone. I went into it knowing what I was getting into and what I needed to do to take care of myself. And it helped for a moment, though it was not lasting. I know that I'm not willing to keep taking this medication because of the side effects. I'm not willing to subject myself to those to manage my left ear. It has made me plant myself more firmly into continuing the process of lifestyle changes to increase my immunity and gut health, create a life that is conducive to calming the nervous system and increase overall enjoyment, and continue with my yoga sadhana (daily spiritual practice).
I feel in my body that the hearing loss and tinnitus is reflective of lifestyle choices over the year, environmental factors and biological factors. Some I have no control over, some I do. It will be a continued path of experimentation and learning.
The teaching part of the hearing loss for me has been about the process of an unlearning of our American cultural belief (and a human tenancy) that there is a quick fix, a magic pill and if we could find it we'd live happily ever after. This is not the case. When I fixate on trying to find a guarantee or the quick fix, I increase my stress level, blame myself, compare myself to others, get consumed on trying to find an outcome and miss enjoying life.
Creating lasting change in health and well-being is not a point or a finish line. It is living life. We are born into these human bodies that are guaranteed to change whether we like it or not. We can fight against it and be miserable, exacerbating negativity in mind in body, or we can accept it, take responsibility and steadily make changes to our lifestyle habits and beliefs. IT TAKES TIME, it's a continuous process and patience is essential.
Be kind to yourself in this process, find support systems that uplift you and trust yourself.
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