The reality of the change timeline

After two months of wearing masks, social distancing and hand washing, my partner shared with me, "even after two months, someone stuck their hand out to shake and it was like second nature to shake back." (Luckily there is soap and water to wash away to mistake). This is such a great example of how ingrained our habits are and how it takes a long time to unlearn one habit and learn a

new one.

Patience with the change process is important on the path to healing and self-growth.  Change doesn't happen over night.  It starts with awareness of the pattern and then takes conscious effort and self-discipline to do it differently.  Especially if this pattern has been happening for decades!

Just imagine, if you decided to start taking your shirt off by crossing your arms the other way than what is normal for you. What that would be like?  Go ahead, take a moment to try it. Most likely it will feel weird, awkward, and your muscles don't even know how to really work this way.  If you wanted to make this your new habit, think about how many hundreds, if not thousands of times, you would have to take your shirt off in this new way before it started to feel comfortable, let alone for it to become the habit of taking your shirt off - without even thinking about it.  Whew!

Translate this into changing the way you think about yourself and the world.  If you believe, "I'm not ____ enough," (and most of us have some version of this as an underlying belief deep down), and you decided you're tired of believing this and feeling this way, so you want to start believing, "I am enough." 

It will take time, effort, practice and practice and practice...to change your thinking.

It's amazing how many places our negative beliefs show up, running in the background without us even being aware. It's like peeling back the payers of an onion. First you become aware of the surface
layers of that negative belief, so you practice unlearning that negative belief and start believing, "I am enough." Then that negative belief rears it's head somewhere else. The process continues with each new layer. Kind of like a Whack-O-Mole game.

The amazing part is those more surface layers of a negative belief allow you to practice the new belief so as you find the deeper layers of the negative belief, you are only strengthening that new, positive belief.  It gets to the point that the negative belief is truly helping you and guiding you to where you need more practice with the new belief, "I am enough."

So, the next time you find yourself thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way anymore," give yourself a break!  That old belief is hanging on for dear life and will get sneaky.  Instead, meet that "shouldn't" with a "Hell, yeah!  There you are again, I'm aware of you and I don't have to keep going with you.  I'm going with 'I am enough' instead."

Patience and Practice.