Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Facing the Tension to Move Through and Discover the Truth

I recently had a day where I was struggling with my old ‘buddy,’ anxiety.  For me, it’s a racing mind, jumping around about all the things I need to do, muscles tightening especially in my shoulders and jaw, and it’s hard to sit still, especially to just breath…which is exactly what I need to do to bring my mind back to the present moment.  I was starting to teach a new class that day, so my anxiety was centered on this.  I went to work at the mental health center that is my main occupation.  Between seeing clients, I would notice the tension in my body and do some gentle stretches and take deep breaths.  It helped to keep the sensations manageable.  I had about an hour between the end of my work day and the beginning of the yoga class.  So, I went for a walk to take advantage of the beautiful day.
I walked slowly and deliberately along a beautiful creek. Taking some breaths I asked myself, “what is underneath all this worrying!”  I looked at my surroundings…the green grass, budding trees, gently running water.  Then I found it…self-doubt.  “Am I good enough?”  That sneaky thought  that has kept me from doing things in the past and creeps in when I start something new or push my comfort zone.  So, I put it out to the universe, “Am I good enough?”  Instantly, looking at the spectacularly green grass along the path, I heard, “Is the grass good enough?”  I laughed because that’s such a ridiculous question.  Grass is grass, it is what it is, there’s no such thing as grass being good enough.  I looked around and realized it was true for everything I saw.  I almost laughed out loud. It’s a ridiculous question!  Even about me.   
I have to admit, I’ve been catching that rascal of a belief trying to rear its head a few times since then as I’ve been taking on new endeavors.  But now I’m able to come back to that moment to remind myself that “good enough” is irrelevant, not even a question worth putting time into.  No different than any other living being, I am what I am and don’t need to be anything else.  It will take practice but the seed of this new understanding and the unlearning of the untruth have begun.

Question your thoughts and beliefs as they are most likely a storyline that’s ridiculous in many ways.   And, the truth will be obvious because it will fill you with a sense of peace.  Untruths bring fear, anxiety, and negativity.