The past two weeks, I have been spending time with middle schoolers in breathing and meditation classes I'm offering and some classes at a local middle school teaching tools for stress management. As usual, those who I work with, whether adults or children, tend to be my teachers as well.
My first experience at the middle school was teaching about the breath as a tool for stress reduction in 5 gym classes. I was asked to do this as upcoming standardized testing was coming up. I was teaching to 25 and up to almost 40 students in one class. (That larger class was impromptu and not the usual students in that class). Those of you who have middle schoolers or work with them know the energy and impulsivity that they can have at times. Having that many together multiplies the energy and impulsivity (many, many thanks to middle school teachers). Add on that this is a gym class, so the students have an expectation that this is an hour they get to run around. I went in thinking I'd teach the entire class time, but with seeing the energy and knowing these kids needed time to run around, I ended up teaching for about 20-25 minutes. I was generally impressed with how most of the students were willing to try and generally were redirected back to the practice by me standing by them or verbal cues when their minds and bodies 'wandered.'
The next experience was with a smaller class. My focus was to teach how to cope with stress using the body, breath and mind. As I started, there were a handful of students who had decided they were not going to participate. During the class they continued their plan, which took away from those other students who were listening and trying. I left after the class, sat in my car and reflected. I felt sad and powerless. For the next day, I kept leaning into the experience, talking about it with a couple people, trying to make sense of my reactions to it, and doing my work on moving from a fear reaction to a more compassionate one. After sleeping on it, journaling and then messaging my teacher, the lessons became more clear.
It was the negative energy coming from these students, these 12 year olds, that was most disturbing to me. So young to be in that state. The thing is, that class was just a mirror of the greater community locally and nationally. These students, who have such a strong foot hold in fear-based living, had such a profound effect on the rest of the class and I'm sure the rest of the school culture. Whatever their experiences had been up until then, they have learned that their world is not safe enough to be vulnerable, to connect with others in a kind way, and to enjoy all to opportunities they have been given. They have been 'schooled' to have an armor of self-defense that ends up creating negativity all around them. The thing that they most likely are needing (love, support, compassion) is the very thing they are repelling because of their armor.
These children and their behaviors are a lesson for us all because part of what has created this defense and their reactions are about the adults in their lives: in family, in the community, and in our country. They are a reflection of parts in all of us that, if we aren't aware, can easily take over.
My question to myself was 'what to do with this information? Where is my responsibility?' My answer was:
1. Keep doing your sadhana (daily spiritual practices) to transform you from fear-based reactions to a more loving and compassionate being. Although I've been on this path with commitment for six years, that fear rises up, as per the above example. My practice has helped me recognize right away when it's happening and allows me to learn and then choose a different response. I feel more empowered, more at peace with the world, and more connected to my purpose because of my daily practice.
2. Despite my role as a counselor and yoga teacher, I can not "fix" anyone. I can only provide opportunities for new ways of coping, opportunities to find different perspectives, and opportunities for taking self-responsibility. I have no control over what another person decides to do with what I say or teach.
3. It's all about planting seeds. Providing glimpses for young and old to see there are options for other ways of being in this world and they have the choice to make change in thoughts, beliefs and behaviors.
4. Again, I need to keep doing MY daily practices.
It is so easy to feel overwhelmed like the world is doomed when we encounter negativity. These students reminded me that if I don't continue my own practice and focus on what I'm responsible for (my own reactions and behaviors), I can easily put back on my own suit of armor. Change comes from within, it is about how WE CHOOSE to live our lives.
A good question to ask is, "Is what I'm doing right now contributing to the fear or moving myself (and thus the world) to a more loving and compassionate state? If it's the later, we need to STOP, right then, and take time to care for ourselves until we can move into that more loving and compassionate place. That is how we can collectively move to a more peaceful state. Begin Within and take other's behaviors as a learning for you.
Looking forward to my next two weeks with these young beings!
PS I was so impressed by one student who had been in one of the gym classes, who was fidgety and struggled with focus, remember some of what I had taught by what he shared in the smaller class. Don't judge a book by it's cover and again, it's about planting seeds.
My first experience at the middle school was teaching about the breath as a tool for stress reduction in 5 gym classes. I was asked to do this as upcoming standardized testing was coming up. I was teaching to 25 and up to almost 40 students in one class. (That larger class was impromptu and not the usual students in that class). Those of you who have middle schoolers or work with them know the energy and impulsivity that they can have at times. Having that many together multiplies the energy and impulsivity (many, many thanks to middle school teachers). Add on that this is a gym class, so the students have an expectation that this is an hour they get to run around. I went in thinking I'd teach the entire class time, but with seeing the energy and knowing these kids needed time to run around, I ended up teaching for about 20-25 minutes. I was generally impressed with how most of the students were willing to try and generally were redirected back to the practice by me standing by them or verbal cues when their minds and bodies 'wandered.'
The next experience was with a smaller class. My focus was to teach how to cope with stress using the body, breath and mind. As I started, there were a handful of students who had decided they were not going to participate. During the class they continued their plan, which took away from those other students who were listening and trying. I left after the class, sat in my car and reflected. I felt sad and powerless. For the next day, I kept leaning into the experience, talking about it with a couple people, trying to make sense of my reactions to it, and doing my work on moving from a fear reaction to a more compassionate one. After sleeping on it, journaling and then messaging my teacher, the lessons became more clear.
It was the negative energy coming from these students, these 12 year olds, that was most disturbing to me. So young to be in that state. The thing is, that class was just a mirror of the greater community locally and nationally. These students, who have such a strong foot hold in fear-based living, had such a profound effect on the rest of the class and I'm sure the rest of the school culture. Whatever their experiences had been up until then, they have learned that their world is not safe enough to be vulnerable, to connect with others in a kind way, and to enjoy all to opportunities they have been given. They have been 'schooled' to have an armor of self-defense that ends up creating negativity all around them. The thing that they most likely are needing (love, support, compassion) is the very thing they are repelling because of their armor.
These children and their behaviors are a lesson for us all because part of what has created this defense and their reactions are about the adults in their lives: in family, in the community, and in our country. They are a reflection of parts in all of us that, if we aren't aware, can easily take over.
My question to myself was 'what to do with this information? Where is my responsibility?' My answer was:
1. Keep doing your sadhana (daily spiritual practices) to transform you from fear-based reactions to a more loving and compassionate being. Although I've been on this path with commitment for six years, that fear rises up, as per the above example. My practice has helped me recognize right away when it's happening and allows me to learn and then choose a different response. I feel more empowered, more at peace with the world, and more connected to my purpose because of my daily practice.
2. Despite my role as a counselor and yoga teacher, I can not "fix" anyone. I can only provide opportunities for new ways of coping, opportunities to find different perspectives, and opportunities for taking self-responsibility. I have no control over what another person decides to do with what I say or teach.
3. It's all about planting seeds. Providing glimpses for young and old to see there are options for other ways of being in this world and they have the choice to make change in thoughts, beliefs and behaviors.
4. Again, I need to keep doing MY daily practices.
It is so easy to feel overwhelmed like the world is doomed when we encounter negativity. These students reminded me that if I don't continue my own practice and focus on what I'm responsible for (my own reactions and behaviors), I can easily put back on my own suit of armor. Change comes from within, it is about how WE CHOOSE to live our lives.
A good question to ask is, "Is what I'm doing right now contributing to the fear or moving myself (and thus the world) to a more loving and compassionate state? If it's the later, we need to STOP, right then, and take time to care for ourselves until we can move into that more loving and compassionate place. That is how we can collectively move to a more peaceful state. Begin Within and take other's behaviors as a learning for you.
Looking forward to my next two weeks with these young beings!
PS I was so impressed by one student who had been in one of the gym classes, who was fidgety and struggled with focus, remember some of what I had taught by what he shared in the smaller class. Don't judge a book by it's cover and again, it's about planting seeds.
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