Take it From a Recovering Worrier

I think I was born into this world with a mind ready to worry.  It's an emotion
I've felt ever since I can
remember and an action I've practiced forever.  Despite this, pretty early on, I grew tired of this way of being.  Around the third grade, I consciously decided, "I'm not doing this anymore!"  The first step to changing it was around the worry of what other's thought of me.

I was so consumed with this at times that it would keep me from reaching out to people, asking for what I needed, or keeping me from doing things I really wanted to do.  I was labelled as "shy," but looking back at it, I was just so worried that I would be judged, shot down and told I wasn't good enough, so I didn't take that risk of putting myself out there.

When I came to the decision that I was going to put myself out there in third grade, I started to slowly do things despite the worry and fear screaming at me to stop. I would force myself to start talking more and putting myself out there.

This is still a practice for me today.  Owning my own business provides opportunities to practice putting myself out there, reaching out to others, and talking to people I don't know well.  Some days that worry part of me isn't even around because I've been practicing with it for so long.  But some days, when I'm more tired or stressed, there she is, right beside me, making excuses and inviting self-doubt to the party.

Here are some concrete things I do to take action despite what worry says or how she makes me feel.

1. The first step is just to be aware she's even there.  When worry is present, my mind is racing, I'm shallow breathing, I sweat more and my heart races.

2. The second step is to take some conscious breaths - down into my belly, slowly exhaling through

my nose.

3. And then I listen. What is worry trying to tell me now?  I let myself feel all the sensations of worry. Basically letting the energy of worry move through me instead of blocking that energy. I find just by doing this, worry starts to settle down because she's got my attention.

4. Then I get curious and question the message worry is trying to tell me is true.  Questions like, "Is that really 100% true?  Why am I even trying to take this action?  What is the real issue here?  Does
this situation remind me of some other time?"  By getting curious and questioning, usually I am able to find clarity in what action I really want to take, rather than avoid and withdraw. 

5. Then I thank worry as she's helped me to get more clear and focused.

There are some days when I need to use other tools as well, like talking to someone I trust, writing things out, taking a break to get outside or just do something else before coming back to the issue.  These four steps, though, happen at some point in the process and it may take more than one visit with worry to move through it.

The practice of being aware of reactions in our mind/body system and using the breath to be present are core practices of yoga and yoga for self-transformation.  Even in an asana (pose) class, these two practices are an essential part and a big part of what contributes to all the positive benefits you may feel at the end of a class.

So, use worry as a part of practicing yoga in daily life. Begin to own worry sensations and start to lean into worry with curiosity. 

Worry is and, most likely, will always be a part of my life.  She no longer runs the show and I consider her a friend to embrace. She is not who I am, just a part of the gift of the human experience to learn and grow from.